Finally sent out my resume to 3 shortlisted companies. They are jobs not in a formal setting - 2 x Backpacker Hostel and 1 x Wedding Planner. Hmm, still contemplating if I should apply for the last job cos its kinda like formal - call center and office and not something I want and like. However, the pay is really really good. So .... We shall see. I hope the above 3 companies will at least asked me for interview.

RMTR and TRMK is such a pain! I've got totally no mood to study. But I just got to, just hoping it can beautify my GPA. Not that I am keen for Uni but a nice GPA will reflect well on me :) And maybe it will aid in New Zealand application? HAHA Finally finally finally going to enquire this Friday. I hope I will get good news.

Honestly I've been thinking about flying off every single moment or when my mind goes blank. I imagine how the day we left will be like. Hopefully I doesnt cry while hugging my mom again. How we would have a cookout in our mini kitchen, the 2 tall ladies gonna make real spicy curry and I will be washing the dishes since I cant cook... Then we would go grocery shopping and road trip!!! Since I got my license ^^ Definitely foreseeing days I would breakdown and miss home. Especially when I got sick or when work is hard or we fight? I hope we wont though. Maybe if Jay goes to Uni of Queensland, we can flyover over the weekend and crash her dorm. This is awesome shit!! Cant stop thinking.

I am determine just like this.

A man worth dating

is one who reads, drink tea, coffee and would stop and look at the sky to admire the stars even if it is for just one minute.

Holiday Mood

Study weeks are meant for studying but it feels like holiday to me.

I swear weird things are happening in the sky! Or am I just the only one realising these weird stuffs. First was the "shooting star" and tonight I witnessed the moon rising while camping at JP Starbucks. It was a pretty sight but I am really curious. I love the solar system! I would love to meet someone good at it and have all my questions answered.

Shall send my resume and cover letter out soon. Hopefully I can get into either of them. They are all jobs I love - 2 front office for backpacker place and 2 wedding coordinator. Gonna keep my fingers cross. Then I will be able to start saving for my travel expenses as well as New Zealand and also a secondhand car. Okay, the latter gotta wait a lot more years but oh well I can just start now.

I want a fruitful life

My mom is an important figure in my life. We've grew close, closer and even closer. Today she finally gave the green light for New Zealand. She said "Follow your heart. It is hard to be your own boss. But decide what life you wanna lead. A challenging or a stable life. You have my support. But remember you have a family and family is always important." I am beyond happiness now and just speechless. I know it is hard for my mom to say these words but I am just thankful for everything.

Once again, I found my path and pillar of support. I am on my way chasing my dreams!

Edit @ 17:07
Just applied to NTU - Sociology, Linguistics and multilingual studies, Business, Maritime studies with business major and Psychology. Oh well I am just applying for the sake of applying and also it serves as a backup plan for NZ. I think I will be really thrilled and over the moon if they accept me though. My GPA sucks and idk. SMU next and maybe UNLV or Kaplan?

After applying I feel like ... I've always despised people who does things not because they want to but because society wants them to. And I just applied for NTU not because I want to but for the sake of applying? idk. Oh well, green light for New Zealand!! *Runs around*

Mom said that emotions is my biggest weakness and I just gotta agree. It changes so easily and I just cant control it. I wonder what is my strengths.

Don't screw up your future just because you want to have fun in the present

The definition of 'successful' and 'happiness' differs from people to people. "A" who had travelled around the world may not be successful in the eye of "B" who has a high paying job. While "A" may not think that "B" is happy. It all really depends what you want in your life. But the society judge, everyone judge! Including me and you even if you want to deny.

Back to the past, why did I chose Tourism and Hospitality. Firstly the cut-off point was low. Perception: low cut-off point = relatively good course/future. Secondly, I was interested in Hotel operations. I even dream of becoming the General Manager. Lastly, this was like a 'hot' course then due to the construction of two IRs. 100% never ever regretted coming into NP-TRM despite always complaining bout school and projects. I met lovely people whom I will want to keep in contact with forever. I had many experiences such as grooming workshop, fine dining workshop, pot-luck, cruise, Suzhou and internship.

Before TRM, honestly my wish is to become a Wedding Planner. This dream faded along the poly years but I found it back again along the way. After internship, I am even more certain that office is definitely not my place. I cant stand seating in my cubicle every single day from 9am to 5pm staring at the computer. I cant handle politics too. Motto of my life: Simplicity. The thought of being my own boss came into mind. Of course, it will be a Wedding Shop. But gowns are so expensive and I need my capital! So mom suggested F&B cos it is the easiest business and I agreed. I love the idea of a cafe or just somewhere cosy for people to hang and chill.

To make this dream come true, I wanna go NZ for a year with A & H to source for business idea and at the same time earn my capital. Their minimum wage is like double of Singapore! And apart from that, I really like the ideal of going overseas. It is not that I do not like Singapore and I want to be away from my family. I mean Singapore is so wonderful in so many people's eye but grass is always greener at the other side. It is the reason why so many foreigners are coming to Singapore! I agree that Singapore is safe and clean and disaster-free blah blah blah. But I am young and I want to be adventurous. I want to explore and travel and chase my dreams. The world is so big, I cant possibly just restrict myself to Singapore right?

Brought up the topic again with family and mom thought I was joking bout going NZ then. She strongly disapprove and suddenly I feel so lost. I had my plans laid out and I am all ready to work towards them and then objections came. Her words really hurt me and made me ponder a lot. "Your option is selfish." I cried a lot and think a lot. Is going NZ really a selfish choice? Am I chasing dreams or just escaping reality? I really have no answers to these questions. But I know I will definitely regret someday not going NZ!

School gonna end officially in another 2 weeks time and I will be graduating from NP. Many friends are applying for Uni and I am just lost. Should I apply? No, I dont need a degree to start my business. But the business can fail anytime and you will be left with nothing but just a diploma student. All your friends will be a degree holder and be all successful and blah blah blah.

So many unanswered questions and I dont even know who has the answers or who I should look for. This may be the first time I feel so lost in life and trying so hard to find my path. Back to my first paragraph, what is my definition of being 'successful' and 'happiness'.



I've grew and matured and changed in one way or another. Quotes on Tumblr that discourages me: "dreams are deceiving" , "what screw us up most is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be" , and my title. I believe all I need now is some faith and determination and courage to find my path.

Shooting star?

A new phase of life - driving! The next aim will be to get my own car and go on late night ride. I dont mind even if it is a second-hand one. My dream car: pastel coloured convertible volkswagen beetle.

Finally went running after a long time with S. While on the way back, we started walking and staring into the clear sky. It was so clear that I could see so many stars and the bright round moon just made it even more perfect. Constantly, there was airplane flying on both direction. Such a pretty scene! Then we noticed an "airplane" catching up one of the airplane but it was just white and traveling real fast. And it just overtook it and disappear. Was it a shooting star? Honestly, we both doesnt know. But I was so mixed with emotions and tears came down.

Last day of official school tml. So fast, suddenly.

Dreams can be deceiving.

Selfish?

Am I really chasing dream or am I just escaping reality? Is my option really a selfish one? Why cant yall stand in my position and understand the reason behind my choices? I am just young and curious about the outside world?

Yesterday was one of the best day of my Ngee Ann life. Lots of memories made and I doubt I will ever forget this class feeling. I think Ruyi presentation went well. I think everyone from TR22 did well! No words can express my feelings to Mr Loh. He is really the best lecturer in Ngee Ann. He really helped improve our Ruyi project a lot and TR22 simply loves him! If I were ever to become a teacher, I inspire be like him. The companion and firework after dinner simply made the night a beautiful and memorable one. It has really been a long tim since I felt us being a class!

19 days till officially last day of school. Conflict mood.